19.11.19
As I went under for the second time it picked up right at the same point I left. Seeing my family coming in with all the pain and grief in their faces. The sorrow, for the first time I’d realised all that I’ve caused, and this was just the beginning.
As I watched, from my birds eye perspective throughout the experience it was horrible to witness. Of course I went back into the seizure like state almost immediately which again lasted nearly an hour. Again the doctors were on high alert not so sure of their choice to try it again. As the experience continued down this path I witnessed my coming out of the coma and being released from the hospital and returning home to a place that was foreign to me. Not having any memory of my current home, and watching my wife having to spoon feed me, my children trying to accept this state of their father was absolutely heartbreaking. Watching Terrance, an employee of ours, carrying my limp body out to our pool where my wife used to come home everyday at lunch and try to get me to walk again inside our pool. Again the absolute state of helplessness was so revealing and so emotional. There it continued along, one glimpse into the other of my recovery. The same as my last experience I was given a joint to calm my mind and body after the experience wore off.
Later I sat with my doctors and I had to convince them to continue with this medicine as I knew that I had to continue my tale within my own mind. The clarity in which it revealed itself was astounding. So they agreed. I, of course was determined knowing full well that this was truly a beneficial medicine. No matter how painful.
As the medicine was administered, each experience grew shorter in time, from the first being one hour to the next being 55 minutes and so on it went. Because of the schedule of treatments of course everything in time. It wasn’t until the following week that I would be given more Bofu and again it picked up where it left me with the last experience. This continued through the years, like the other treatments, until I had a proper, normal experience like the other paients, 10 minutes of blissful experience.
